Dear Carrie, What do you do when something wonderful happens and you call someone who should be important, supportive, and excited for you - like your mother - but all they say is “congratulations” before talking about how horrible their life is, how sad they are, and everything that is wrong with them? Dear Reader, First, let yourself admit that it hurts. You called because you wanted to share your joy with someone who matters to you. You weren’t asking for too much. You wan

Question Dear Carrie, How do I know whether I’m making a healthy compromise or abandoning myself? Someone I love wants me to do something with them, but everything in me is saying no. I know they’ll be disappointed if I don’t go, and part of me feels that I should do it simply because we’re in a relationship. Am I being selfish by choosing myself? Dear Reader, I don’t think you’re selfish. I think you’re asking whether you’re included in the compromise. Healthy relationships

I don’t think we build them all at once. I think we reclaim them one honest choice at a time. Most of us didn’t consciously choose every part of the life we are living. We inherited expectations, accepted roles, and made decisions while surviving, raising families, earning a living, or becoming who we thought we were supposed to be. That doesn’t make the life false. It simply means we may eventually need to ask whether it still fits. That question can be uncomfortable because